Living with a Brother Who Has Hyperlexia:
An Older Sisterís Perspective

by Tamara Leszner

When my brother Steven was born he seemed like a normal baby until one day when he was two years old, we realized that he wasnít talking or socializing.  Over the next few years it was a struggle for both my parents and myself. My parents took Steven from Speech and Language Pathologists to Psychologists and everything in between. They knew he was smart, as he would organize his Sesame Street books in chronological order and read them cover to cover before going to sleep.  He would type T.V. credits onto the computer after he saw them on the television.  But he wouldnít talk.  He couldnít communicate.

My parents worked hard to find ways to help him.  They were very proud of him and of all of his accomplishments.  For me, though, it was different.  I felt very angry towards Steven and I felt very frustrated. Why couldnít I just have a normal brother like the rest of my friends.  Why couldnít Steven just be ìnormalî?

I didnít have to wait for long to have another brother and then yet another!  I started playing with them and just ignoring Steven.  He never wanted to have anything to do with me anyway.  He would just sit and watch T.V.  It hurt to have a brother who couldnít communicate with me. I felt that he didnít love me.
Steven has improved drastically since he was small. Now he socializes, although his social skills are a bit delayed.  He is 11 years old now and going into grade 6.  He goes to speech and language therapy and has support in school.  He talks constantly and always asks questions and is starting to develop the same interests as my brothers and I have.  We even fight like ìnormalî siblings do. It is sometimes hard.  The second that Steven detects that I am angry, he goes ballistic because he thinks that I hate him. This makes the problem very difficult.

In order to help siblings deal with their hyperlexic brothers (or sisters), I have put together a list of strategies that have helped me.  I hope it helps you too.

1) I have learned to NEVER yell or raise my voice at Steven.  If I feel angry at him, I tell him what is bothering me in a CALM manner.  If this doesnít work, I walk away from him and do something else to get my mind off it. I usually go to my room and read a book, go on the Internet or call my friends.

2) I tell Steven that I love him every day.  This makes him feel more comfortable and secure.  Then he is less likely to have a tantrum.

3) I encourage Steven to do things with me.  We read books together, watch T.V. together, play Nintendo together.  We go bike riding and play basketball and we have lots of fun. I try to also do stuff that I know he likes.  I found that because I kept asking him to play with me, he now has started to ask me to do things with him!

4) I always stick up for him, no matter what.  I hear kids on the playground saying ìStevenís strangeî or ìWhy is he talking to himself again?î I go up to them and explain why Steven does what he does and it helps a lot. Itís very hurtful when kids are teasing my brother, so I DO something about it!

5) I now know that Steven loves me very much.  I have to be a good influence on him, and that isnít always easy.  He looks up to me so much that he copies just about anything that I do (and that isnít always good!)  Believe me, I know!
 

Tamara Leszner is 14 years old, and very happy with each of her 3 brothers!