by Reva Schafer, M.Ed.

Going to a restaurant for a meal is often not an easy task.  To cope with this situation, the child must be able to handle changes and transitions; be able to handle the restaurant environment (size, light, noise, etc.); be able to communicate his/her wants/needs; be able to use language labels (words, signs, picsymbols, etc.); and know the social rules and conventions. How can we prepare him/her for this experience?

1) Choose his/her favourite place.  Base this choice on his/her requests (gestures, songs from commercials, advertisements, etc.), the type of food he/she will eat, and the least threatening/anxiety-provoking environment.  Visit the restaurant, speak to the manager, explain what you are going to do, and request his/her support.  Ask for a copy of their menu, their placemats, their napkins (if unique), their children's cups, and anything else that you may require to provide a realistic staging of what will happen at the restaurant.

2) Drive by the restaurant as frequently as possible and let your child know you will be going there for lunch/dinner.  For those children who need it, stop the car and gradually get closer to the restaurant.  Mark the date of your restaurant meal on the calendar. Draw a map to show the route to the restaurant.  Review these daily.

3) Write a social story using the sequence of events as they will occur and the language formats that your child will be hearing and learning to use.  Read the social story daily.

4) At home, set up an area that looks as much like the restaurant as possible.  Hang a sign with the restaurant name.  You could have your child make a comparison to ensure the best replica for him/her.

5) Explain to your child that you will be practising going to the restaurant and read the entire social story together.  As you go through the process, read each relevant part at the appropriate time.

6) Drive or pretend to drive to your rehearsal restaurant.  Have the family group enter together.

7) As you enter the rehearsal restaurant, stop at the "Please Wait To Be Seated" sign, if necessary.  Stand in line. Be prepared with a favourite book, puzzle, etc. for your child to play with.  Stand for a few minutes (length of time should be based on coping ability and gradually lengthened, if necessary).
                                                 
8) Have a person act as host/hostess and show you to your table.  The "hostess" should ask, "How many are there in your party?"  Determine how many and have your child respond, if possible, with the number or "There are ____ people in our party."  Teach an appropriate language format based on your child's language system and level.  This should be in the social story.  Print it separately and he/she can read it, initially.

9) When getting seated, if your child has a particular arrangement he/she prefers begin with this pattern.  Take into consideration seat or bench preference.  If your child tends to leave his/her seat and/or crawl under the table, place a special chair pillow, "X" or "O" on the seat as a cue that this is where he/she must sit and remain.  If he/she moves from that spot, continually move him/her back.  Provide a written card that he/she can read that states: "I must stay in my seat at the restaurant".

11) Read and discuss the menu.  Have your child make a choice.  Provide the language formats:
What would you like?
 Could I please have _____?
What would you like to drink?
 Could I please have a ____?
 Thank you.

12) While you're waiting for the food, you should be prepared with several activities for play.  These should be listed in the social story.  Your child should pick an activity he/she enjoys or requires at that moment.  This could be an excellent opportunity for learning new vocabulary or reasoning skills i.e. classifying/ categorizing fruits, vegetables, etc., associating foods and objects, questioning/ answering formats, etc.

13) When the food arrives model and have your child give eye contact to the 'waiter'/'waitress' and say "Thank you".

14) Model and have your child place the napkin on his/her lap, use utensils properly, chew with his/her mouth closed, and talk only after swallowing.

15) Ask you child, "Would you like the [ketchup, mustard, etc.]?" Model and have your child respond, "Yes, please" or "No, thank you" and request by saying, "Could you please pass the _____?"

16) Ask your child, "Do you like it? Is it good?" Model and have your child respond, "Yes", "I like it", "It's delicious.", "It's the best." etc.

17) At the end of the meal, model and have your child place his/her napkin and utensils where they belong.

18) When the 'waiter'/'waitress' asks, "Would you care for anything else?", prepare and provide your child with possible choices for a response and have him/her respond, "I would like some _____, please."

19) When the bill arrives, have your child read it, check it, and discuss the tip (why,how much, etc.).  Have your child determine the tips (paper and pencil, calculator).  Have your child place the tip on the table.

20) Leave the table and walk to the cash register.  Model and have your child pay the bill and get the change.

21) Model and have your child say, "Thank you", and leave the restaurant.

Obviously, these steps will require modifications based on your child's status, and the type of restaurant you will visit.  These will be reflected in your personalized social story.

Practice at home as often as you feel it is necessary for your child to feel comfortable.  Contact the restaurant.  Let them know when you are coming.  Give them a copy of the social story so they know the sequence and the language you used.

Go out to the restaurant. Eat. Have fun!

With your child's increasing comfort in this situation, you can begin to vary different aspects of the experience to bring about transference/generalization and, therefore, greater opportunities for new experiences.
 
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